Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will." Same goes for losers.Don't go looking because you can find the loser in anybody, since losers are everybody.

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This blemish usually contradicts whatever your favorite lady mag tells you is admirable in a man, like granite counter tops, emotional over-availability, therapist-like listening skills, a generous bankroll, and killer style. OK, we don't call, but maybe you call, text, instant message, and Facebook too much?

Yeah, sure, we talk about ourselves a lot, but only during the brief moments of silence when you're not talking about yourself.

When women talk about men being losers, it usually means that the man doesn't live up to the standards of her fantasy.

Much the way it is patently unfair for a man to judge a woman because she doesn't accurately reflect the absurd, airbrushed and Photoshopped women adorning men's magazines, it is unfair for women to write a man's superficial shortcomings off because he's not Mr. Whenever I read or talk to a woman about a recent loser or string of losers, I can't help but think about that old breakup canard, "It's not you, it's me." Maybe it's not him, it's you. Which brings me to a bigger point: Really, we're all losers. Love, real love, is forgiving someone for being human.

And being human is being a loser, an embarrassing, spectacular mess of contradictions, insecurities, and pimples. Assuming that you are so put together that you're above criticism is self-deception, pure and simple.

The world, and men, are not out to get you and only you. But playing the dating victim means that ultimately, you and your potential dates lose, and the only winners are relationship columns about indulging the impulse to wantonly judge others, while sparing yourself. What gives a person character lies not how perfect they are, whether they are rich, stylish, or good-looking. Any worldview short of this is just shallow, fake self-esteem mumbo-jumbo.The sooner you accept your little defects, the sooner you can accept someone else's.• If you don't learn the 456 sex tips, he will cheat on you. "How Not To Date A Loser." "How To Detect A Loser." "How To Tell If Mr. • You date nothing but losers -- and therefore have an insatiable appetite for articles about men being losers.Right Is Actually A Human Trojan Horse Filled With Thimble-Sized Losers." The point is made: You ladies have dated lots of losers.But have you ever considered that maybe, sometimes, you are the loser yourself?